The Agony of Aging - "Blowing the game in the 4th quarter". . .

When facing our own mortality and aging, the questions are always the same:

How will it play out and how will it end?

Life is a long journey, taking us through many different chapters. If one’s life were compared to a football contest, our youth, family building, and work/career years would comprise the first 3 quarters of the the game, with retirement representing the 4th and final quarter. And just like the football team that builds a comfortable lead during those first three quarters, it’s understood that the 4th quarter stills need to be played prudently in order to realize victory. But it does occasionally happen, where late in the game, a team gets sloppy, complacent, overly anxious, or just loses focus, and then “blows it in the 4th quarter”. In those cases, it’s a shame to see a team play so well for so much of the game, yet have it squandered away at the end by eventually losing the contest.

From a financial perspective in our personal lives, we have the same need to play “all 4 quarters” in order to safeguard and enjoy our estate assets. As we mature and age, our goal is to accumulate wealth and resources, so that we can enjoy the fruits of our labor in our golden years and leave legacies. We hope that along the way we’ll pick up experience, wisdom, savvy, and acumen, learning from earlier mistakes and lessons, and making us smarter to manage our financial enterprise in a logical and rationale manner.

It all sounds great, but what we don’t often consider is the unpredictable way in which aging potentially impacts us and our thought processes in the “4th quarter” of our lives. In personal financial planning, as professionals, we see this unfortunate scenario played out way too often, and it’s heartbreaking.

For example, an individual may spend his/her whole life making rock-solid decisions, prudently mastering business and financial affairs, and building a sizable estate. Then in later years, tragically dementia or Alzheimer’s disease sets in and slowly erodes that individual’s ability to process information rationally and make logical decisions. Sadly, the affected individual is often unable to accurately reason what’s happening to him/her, will start making judgment-impaired decisions, and may even fight those loved ones who are trying to step in and help.

For anyone who has experienced this situation with an affected family member, it is gut-wrenching and compares to the analogy of the team playing so well for much of the game, then “blowing it in the 4th quarter”. To watch someone you love, who has taken such pride and care in successfully managing his/her financial affairs, lose the ability to show good judgement and due care, is maddening. It can jeopardize everything for which that person has ever worked, and it’s even more painful knowing that the affected person (under normal circumstances and in his/her “right mind”) would never want/allow this to happen.

We all say that it won’t happen to us or our family, but I can tell you from personal experience, that such rationalization is naive. And yes, it does happen on a random and unpredictable basis, and could happen to anyone.

So, what’s the answer? – Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet to guarantee a successful/painless outcome. However, there are some basic steps to take which might lessen the overall difficulty in such cases. This includes:

• Realizing and admitting that it is always a possibility that an unfortunate aging event, with the potential of comprising one’s ability to manage his/her own affairs, could happen.

• In advance, identifying and assembling a support team comprised of family members and/or trusted professionals, who are trusted to handle the affairs in a fiduciary manner, if/when ever needed.

• “When the waters are calm” and again, in advance, meeting with the selected support team and having candid and preemptive conversations. These meetings should include open and honest dialogue, providing advice and insight as to the desired wishes, preferences, and perspectives that should be applied to situation, should a loved one’s support team ever need to intervene. From these conversations, the support team should gain a solid understanding of the loved one’s “state of mind” and intentions as to how he/she would like things to be managed should a situation of duress occur.

• Establishing supporting documentation, appropriate directives, and notes/records to corroborate the loved one’s wishes and the conversations that took place in advance.

As the old adage goes, “it ain’t over ‘til it’s over”, and the result of any game (even life) is never final until the very end. But when addressing our financial affairs, we need to take proactive and precautionary measures to ensure that we have a supporting cast in place, empowered to protect us should we encounter aging issues in retirement/end of life, and provided with our personal instructions/intentions.

Done correctly, we can preserve what we created through the first 3 quarters of our life’s work, and not lose control, letting it slip away, and “blowing it in the 4th quarter”