Embrace . . . or force field?

Open for embrace. . .

or engage the force field?

One of the beautiful things about the “olden days” was that everything was simpler. When watching an old Western movie, one could distinguish the good guys from the bad guys by looking at the color of their hats. It would certainly make life today a lot less complicated if we had that same “intention detection” mechanism in place.

I’ve often said that if I could have one wish granted, it would be that when interacting with people, I could know from what perspective or viewpoint they were coming. That way I’d know whether to offer a friendly embrace to the person in our next encounter or engage a force field for defensive purposes.

How many times have we miscalculated someone’s intentions, and found ourselves ending up disappointed and hurt? No need to answer – we all know that it’s way too many times.

But in the world of business and organizations, our ultimate success is determined by ability to work with a team and to compete in a marketplace. Along the way, we can find that there are ways to protect ourselves, and to be a better judge of the situation and the people we encounter:

• Set the rules of engagement up front – Establishing honest expectations at the beginning of the relationship can alleviate many disappointments down the road. A snowball can start out small, but rolling downhill and picking up steam, it can turn into an avalanche.

• Call a foul when you see it, and stay on track – There’s nothing wrong with addressing issues as they happen; relationships are a learned process through experience. Sure, it may be uncomfortable, but it provides for mutual communication and openness. And if the relationship is healthy, it will help it thrive going forward.

• Play fair; give and expect respect (as long as it’s warranted) – The world of “likes” may be fine for friendships and the world of Facebook, but the world of business relationships is about respect - giving it and earning it. Respect is not a constitutional right; it is a precious commodity. Once lost or surrendered on either side, the relationship is pretty much doomed.

• Always being willing to re-engage the force field, but only if necessary – The old TV character “Gomer Pyle” was famous for saying, “Sur-Prise, Sur-Prise, Sur-Prise!”. And that can sometimes sum it up, when what seems to be a stable business relationship, gets unexpectedly turned upside down. Times change, circumstances change, people change, and motives change. There’s never a guarantee that the situation or relationship will remain the same forever. So, be ready to adapt and protect, should the unfortunate happen.

Can we avoid major disappointments and letdowns in our business relationships? Absolutely not, and I can assure you that if I knew how, I’d write a book and make millions. However, we can use a few of these simple tips in our daily travels to help us try to separate the good guys versus bad guys.